Gorlock’s Report #1 - On Gamerus Hermitis

Gorlock

I provide to you this report under the auspices of the Galactic Biological Research Foundation - an organization dedicated to the study of some of the lesser organisms in the galaxy. It is with their encouragement (and steady supply of edible gel sacs) that I was able to take a sabbatical from my work on the mind programming station on Snorjel 7.

The organism that I am writing to you about is of the Genus Homo and the subspecies Gamerus hermitis. It is a strange and exotic organism that resides on the Planet 471a84 - known as "Earth" by its most technologically advanced native planetary species. Gamerus hermitis was first discovered by the planetary survey team composed of senior surveyor Guldusac. He noted: Although the majority of the denizens of this planet subsist off of the hydrogen and oxygen compound that permeates the planet's outer crust - Gamerus hermitis survives off of a combination of the highly caffeinated beverage known as "Red Bull" and a sugary syrup that is dissolved in it known as "Cola". In addition, Gamerus hermitis consumes large quantities of a plant based and fermented mammalian gland secretion known as "cheetos". Guldusac’s survey information was quite useful to me in my study of the creature. And I have performed significant further study.

The defining characteristic of this subspecies is their considerable cognitive investment in an activity known as "Video Gaming". This activity consists of them self-positioning in front of a simple light emitting diode screen that depicts various interactive sequences from their collective history and their aspirational future. It also displays images representing a wide variety of fictional imaginations.

The typical Gamerus hermitis of adult age will perform his or her duties to his planet's respective societal and economic function in an uninterested manner. Upon returning to his dwelling he will normally proceed to engage in this "Video Gaming" for extended periods of time - often foregoing bodily needs such as nourishment consumption and organ sac waste disposal.

I was able to repeatedly get close enough to the organism's glass window (a type of transparent non-weight bearing aesthetic building material) to capture several days worth of footage. It appears that much of this footage consists of various types of aspirational role playing and mind programming.

The first night, I observed the creature using a basic set of mechanical control interfaces to simulate the movements of a light emitted diode generated image of a member of the planet's warrior class. He used the mechanical controls to mutilate a series of other members of the planet's warrior class - in some kind of imagined resource conflict. This program was probably designed to train the organism for the possibility of one of the actual resource conflicts that often occur on this planet.

On the second night, as he repeatedly missed opportunities to mutilate opposing members of the warrior class on the diode screen, I watched as the subject had some kind of emotional disturbance - repeatedly screaming into his voice capture device about the presence of "newbs". I have yet to discover the nature and intent of these "newbs" but I can only assume they are a malicious group of participants who exist in the fictional gaming world and are intent on destroying any semblance of order in the goals of the other participants. Such was the depravity of these "newbs" that the subject under study had to repeatedly retreat to the organ sac waste disposal unit to relieve himself. He returned feeling refreshed it seems - but such significant distress poses a problem for the creature's long term mental health and the continuation of this study.

On the third night, I witnessed something truly strange. I stumbled upon the creature heavily engaged in performing some kind of sexual organ maintenance on himself. Utilizing the light emitting diode screen, the creature repeatedly switched between various images of disrobed females of the species. It was quite traumatizing to watch so I don't have much to say about it. And fortunately, the subject’s matriarchal progenitor entered the room and interrupted the subject(to the apparent dismay of the subject). I am actually quite glad my footage collection device was not activated - I can assure you the experience haunts me to this day.

Afterwards, he ate some "cheetos" and proceeded to mutilate more members of the species' warrior class utilizing the light emitting diode screen.

On the fourth night, there was a shift in the control scheme used to manipulate the images that appeared on the light diode screen. The subject abandoned the mechanical controls in favor of some kind of rudimentary body motion sensing device known as a "kinect". He repeatedly failed to dispense with a small group of fictionally reanimated deceased members of the species known as "zombies". Such was the frustration generated by this device that the subject inserted it directly into a waste disposal container. (I later observed that the subject’s matriarchal progenitor had removed the "kinect" from the waste disposal container and used it to perform various instructional fitness programs. It functioned quite well for this purpose and to this day the matriarchal progenitor has reduced her adipose tissue reserves by 45 percent.)

On the fifth night, the creature used a different program to generate images on the light diode screen. In this program the subject would repeatedly slay identical groups of animals known as boars. This effort presented almost no challenge to the subject. He persisted in the effort nearly the entire night, only stopping when he passed out on his bag of "cheetos". I can only imagine what the purpose of this program was - perhaps some diabolical scheme to encourage wasteful animal consumption. This behavior continued for several days afterwards.

I couldn't prolong my study of the subject any longer as my supply of edible gel sacs was running low, but I hope to return one day to take samples of the species. I feel that the subspecies Gamerus hermitis is on the brink of some kind of mind programming revolution and merits further gel sac donations for study.

In any case, the implications of this species' first clumsy attempts at mind programming are quite interesting.

Sincerely,
Gorlock - of Snorjel 7