The Dark Lord is among us!

Horse Power equals Rendering

For those of you that might not be familiar with developing video games, the art component is about 70% of everything. It is the first thing people see. It is also what people usually base buying the game from. That and videos of gameplay. However, if your graphics suck donkeys, then your gameplay video probably won’t get many clicks, and not much play time.

For our games, and all the work I do, I use 3DS Max to render everything, backed by other modeling tools like ZBrush and what not. So a few years back my super stupid best friend Dave built me a render box which I was certain was going to be the end all render box. It was so powerful, I told him to name it “Deep Thought”, but when I got it, I realized a few weeks later that it had been named “Deep Throat”. What a dick! Never thought I would have a better box. At the time everything was going GPU based for rendering, until Max started shipping with ART renderer and Arnold (used in Blade Runner 2049). However, Arnold and ART are CPU based.

If the upside down cross scares you, don’t worry it is canceled out by this one!

So imagine my surprise when Dave shows up with a bottle of Rum and a completely new box named “NATAS”! This thing weighs as much as the Titanic. Most impressive, he did all the box art and design himself! Now for those of you that know Dave, the only thing he has EVER drawn is the same stupid picture of stick people on all fours sucking each others butts with a straw…always the same picture… So this is quite a break from that. (Though I haven’t looked at the bottom, so I bet there are people sucking ass through straws) I’ll get back to the art in a bit.

So given that he knew I use ART and Arnold for my work, he worked closely with Satan to create a system to do thy bidding! Here are some specs on the new Render Box.

Satan sells products don’t you know?!

Growing up, I had ultra stupid religious parents. I was subjected to many “church sponsored” lectures on how people in the music industry became super successful by making a pact with the devil. So by that logic, everything I create on this box should be super stupid successful, yeah? So Absolute Zero will probably win every award and be a quintuple platinum game! Whooooo hooo. Praise Satan* This is like if the Devil had an “Easy Bake Oven” Yo!

*For those of you that don’t know, I don’t believe in the existence of Satan, but don’t tell him that, because it might ruin our sales.

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