How to Cope with Team Drama!

If you work in teams long enough, eventually you will have to manage two or more people with conflicting personalities. It's just a fact of life. I work with students, many of whom have never had *real* jobs before and therefore, haven't developed a professional identity. Consequently, I've had to intercede in more than a few shouting matches. I'll share my observations about the warning signs of interpersonal conflict, some proactive steps you  can take to nip minor disputes in the bud, and what to do when the things go off the rails. 

Warning signs: Danger Will Robinson!

Unlike space robots, the warning signs for personal conflict are often subtle. Stay vigilant! Watch and listen to how your team members interact. Body language is a useful diagnostic tool because both introverts and extroverts express it. If during a discussion, you see a person crossing his arms, turtling his head, or putting his hands around his neck, these are signs a person feels threatened and is trying to protect themselves. Look at where their feet are pointed, this is an indicator of where they want to go. If they're pointed away from someone, that can be a sign they want to escape. You'll often see this when their work is being critiqued by someone and they don't agree with the criticism, especially if it's being done in public. I always pull people into a private area to have tough discussions. I reinforce two ideas with everyone I work with.  

1) Praise in public, criticize in private

2) Criticism of your work is not a personal attack

A Penny of Prevention

When you see the signs, don't wait. Act immediately. Start talking and get the people involved to listen to each other. Prompt each party to repeat back what the other party says as a way to check for listening. All too often, people talking to each other become so wrapped up in crafting a response that they miss the essence of what the person is telling them. Most conflicts result from miscommunication. Healthy communication is vital to productive team interactions. This process may feel awkward at first. Teammates may prefer to pretend that nothing is wrong, but don't give up. That's the path to frustration that will one day erupt and potentially wreak havoc on your team's productivity. Team building activities like games or even sharing meals can do a lot to build rapport among members. One effective dev team I worked with had lunch together at least once a week. 

The Crazy Train

Despite your best efforts, one day you may find two colleagues in a yelling contest. This is where you must step in to diffuse the situation. I've found humor to be a useful tool.  I once starting putting trash bags down around the feet of two teammates embroiled in an argument. Of course, they had to stop arguing to ask what I was doing. I replied, "Just trying to keep blood off the carpet." I think humor and anger must operate on mutually exclusive pathways in the brain. Literally getting in the middle of the quarrel creates a physical barrier between the verbal combatants, so they can't yell at each other directly. I follow this up by calling for a cooling-off period. Then I talk to each person separately to find out exactly what is going on. 

Keep these tips in mind as you work within your teams. Please leave comments if you find them useful!

Good luck!

-M