The Homeless Game Developer Week 2

"I do not need all the services that this house provides, I'm just here to get a job, nothing more." "Maybe you don't know you need them, maybe if we dig far enough in you'll find that you're just as fucked up as everyone else here" SMH.

Last week following my initial adventure the VA placed me in a home to effectively assist me in finding my next job in game development. The Hollywood Veteran's Center first and foremost is a homeless shelter, and shouldn't be mistaken for anything else. It's a really nice homeless shelter, but to think of this place as anything else would just be a mistake of epic proportions and could formulate complacency. It's odd and kind of depressing to say that out loud. I live in a homeless shelter, granted this homeless shelter has Wi-Fi and Direct-TV, an in-house gym, hot meals 3 times a day(that's better than I eat normally), free laundry service, and individual case manager's to assist everyone in reaching their goals. But at times I feel like a bullet in an artillery cannon waiting for that soldier to pull the lanyard. Laser beam focused but not being fired at all and that's not because I'm not making an effort, it's because this place can distract you from your goals, even if by all intentions it's meant to help you reach those goals.

Since I arrived here right before a weekend, I couldn't do anything, I didn't have a case manager to meet with me until Monday, but then it didn't happen until Tuesday. I couldn't go anywhere, as new arrivals can't simply walk the outside area without an escort and in fact, all residents here need prior approval to go anywhere. No substances are allowed anywhere near here and all residents are piss tested weekly. Of course, I was when I arrived and was positive for THC. Yes, I do inhale and I'm proud of that, hell it was a nice farewell for me before I left Las Vegas and I look forward to doing it again, just not while I'm here. The staff monitor for the night gave me the tour of the place and the simple rules to follow while being here.

No substances at all, no alcohol, no drugs other than prescription and those need to be monitored by a staff member. Attend every session on the activity sheet, no exceptions, and the activities can range from working out in the gym to group sessions over a wide variety of focuses. Complete your assigned chore every day. Clean up after yourself and be courteous to others living within the residence. Pretty standard stuff, nothing too hard to accomplish and the writing assignments that they give for the sessions are very easy, like high school level simple queries and discussions. Everything I do or complete needs a signature verifying that I completed it or that I participated. Failure to follow the rules of the house will lead to immediate removal without a chance to return. See, the waiting list for this place is long, I just so happened to skip the line, and by comparison to other homeless shelters and to skid row, it's like the Plaza here.

When I finally got to meet my case manager Megan, she emphasized to me that I was a blue folder or in other terms, someone who's under substance abuse. Of course, I was confused and irritated, but because I tested positive for THC which is still scheduled 1 for federal narcotics, and this being a federal facility, they still have to go through the motions and questions to verify that I'm not a risk to myself or others. Granted my case worker wasn't taking it seriously either, I mean it's legal for recreational both here in California and in Nevada. Still, I was worried that because of that positive test, people may assume that I'm in need of treatment or council in relation to that, which I don't. The next day following that, she assured me that I won't be needing any drug treatment programs and that I should stick with what I'm doing. 

I was told that the case managers are supposed to help you in everything that you may need, that's not the actual case, they are social workers and therapists that are there to help veteran's overcome PTSD or substance abuse problems, but their assistance in housing or job placement is non-existent. It's all on the individual to find those things for themselves. Frankly, that's fine by me, with this place I don't have to worry where my next meal is coming from or where I'll sleep tonight. I can focus entirely on my job hunt and follow-ups. There are other people here that do help in the process if you show initiative and that may also present another problem.

Most of the group sessions are tailored towards soldiers reintegrating back into society. There's meditation, how to develop better personal relationships, anger management, how to stay sober. Nothing in the sessions helps me personally. I've reintegrated back into society pretty well, I have a degree, I've owned a business, I've held residences before and I know what I need to do while here. So a lot of these sessions are wasted on me. There are special classes though that have me feel distracted from my focus. A class on 3D printing has started and I expressed interest in that with the teachers, one has even agreed to help me in my job hunt, so that was a good idea. There's also knitting on Sunday's, yes you read that right, I said knitting. It's not too bad, just sit there, keeping your hands busy, talking about whatever to the group of guys all doing the same thing and you get pizza. Lastly, there's a program called MVP, which is meant to help veterans get back in shape by working alongside professional athletes. That was pretty enjoyable as I burned myself out and I got to see an old friend from college who use to live in the house I live in now. 

These programs and sessions are beneficial, both for those I mentioned earlier and myself, but I expressed my concern that they may be distracting me from doing my job, which is finding a better job. Megan finally realized that she's doing a disservice to me by forcing me down this path when I have every intention of leaving here as soon as I acquire a professional position that I truly need. So to compromise, she noted that I can skip one session a day so that I may set up my computer and continue my job search. It's been helpful, I recently found another perfect job for me at Marvel Entertainment, I've applied for it and keeping my fingers crossed after I followed-up with the man who could become my boss. I'm hopeful but not willing to rest until I'm hired by any of the developers around here. If there's no job here by the end of maybe November, I'm thinking it's time to move on, but unlike Nevada, I'll be doing all my follow-ups before I leave. 

That pretty much sums up my experience here so far. My roommate is a loud snoring ass who isn't taking this place as serious as I am and that's something that I've noticed about a lot of the residents here. People see this place as their home, some people have been here for two years. They fail to remember that this is a homeless shelter, it's not meant to be their home, but because of all the amenities, they get complacent in their desires to better their lives and get out of this house. I want my freedom back, to drink and smoke weed and go anywhere I want to without having to sign out or ask for a day pass. But I'm not going to complain about the lack of those things while here because I don't have to worry about the things that matter like food and shelter. My goals while here won't change and I will leave once I either find an acceptable job in my career field or enough time goes by that I feel it's time to move on to the next city.

Until that time, I don't see any reason to blog about my time here, especially since it's basically the same every week. I'd rather give updates when I have something to update, so you'll excuse me if this my last Homeless Game Developer Blog until further notice, I'm not entirely homeless right now and I need to keep my eyes on the prize.

One thing I forgot to mention is that there are 5 service dogs that reside here as well, I love them all as a big lover of dogs in general and by all accounts, this is their house, we're just guests here.