Violence as Fetish

I love porn, but I hate porn sites made for straight men.

Look at how HUGE and VEINY that cock is! Look at it PENETRATE those HOLES! Look at the GALLONS OF CUM! GIANT ASSES! MASSIVE TITS! RACISM! FATPHOBIA! TRANS FETISHIZISM! FUCKING SUCKING JIZZING THROBBING STOP FORMAT IT TECHNOLOGIC!

a young girl watches a man fuck a woman

bored orgasms and dehumanizing camera angles

it is ugly it is crude and it is deeply upsetting

Sex without meaning and dripping with the most toxic kind of masculinity.

How men are able to enjoy those places has always eluded me. It's not simply the sort of bodies they fetishize, but the soullessness of it all. Kinetic energy without emotion.

Even though I find porn sites the most effective way to destroy any idea of what healthy sexuality is, I am willing to consider that there might be a place for such things. Perhaps there is room for the uncanny valley of straight male porn.

penises were frightening and bodies gross

sex was a strange disgusting thing

and i wanted nothing to do with it

Except it has too much room. Too much space. Videos of trans women having sex with men dehumanize and fetishize us. To find porn of anyone who isn't white, you must swim through an ocean of racism. Finding lesbian porn that isn't made for straight men is a special kind of hell.

Straight male porn exists at the expense of all other forms.

Straight male porn is destroying our understanding of sexuality.

a man on top licks my breasts

strokes my cock

and tells me to make noise

I say all this because this means of exploration is not exclusive to straight male porn. I see it most clearly replicated in video games and their representation of violence. Video games fetishize violence in the same way straight male porn fetishizes hetero sex. Fluids spill in abundance as the camera dehumanizes the victims and revels in the violation of their bodies.

Violence as empty and meaningless as the sex on porn sites. If that sort of porn exists only in the name of orgasm, then to what end does the violence in games exist? What sort of orgasm do you get from fantasy violence?

i cant stop apologizing to the people i sleep with

im sorry i dont make more noise

im sorry my body isnt more sensitive

im sorry im not like the girls in porn

because i know that deep down

you really want me to be

“Don't you feel bad for killing these people?” becomes the “I brought your pizza... with extra sausage.”

Forced, unconvincing attempts at giving any sort of meaning to the sex and violence. They do not work. A painting is not defined by the picture frame. Sex is not defined by the lies constructed around its performance. Violence is not defined by whether or not you're told to feel guilty about it.

Perhaps there is a place for such portrayals of violence, but right now these portrayals exist at the expense of meaningful portrayals or real understanding. They deform our perception. Like a girl who grew up not knowing how to enjoy sex, a generation that knows violence only as spectacle.

Even if you tell them to feel guilty about the violence. Even if you tell them violence is wrong. All it is is a man with his dick in a pizza box. A painting with an interesting frame. Trying to change the message sent without changing the words.

i am just a girl

who is still trying to learn

how to enjoy sex